Mall of America
REI - Boulder, CO
I think shopping malls are unbearable! PERIOD.
I generally try to avoid the mall at all costs. I've made it through certain years of my life without entering a single mall once. But occasionally, I force myself inside these despicable pretzel peddling places. When I do, I usually make a bee-line for the Apple store and get the hell out. That's the only store I generally need something from... Once, I almost got distracted and bought a rad belt buckle the size and shape of a gun inlaid with diamonds... I was fortunate enough to safely gather my strength and walk away from the flashy kiosk.
I sometimes go to the mall for the movie theater. Like the time Kelly + I went to see Fantastic Mr. Fox but there were projector problems and the only film we could see was Couples Retreat... Gahhh! An awful mall and movie experience...
I've also forced myself into malls to make films of my own. I directed a short film called Mall Walkers during college. We shot most of the scenes at a rundown mall during the hours of 11pm-7am. The long nights, the silence and sound echos, and the humming of fluorescent lights was dreadful.
For our last day of filming, we needed to shoot a chase scene of the main character who had stolen an article of clothing and was running from a security guard. The rundown mall wouldn't work. So we shot it guerrilla style at a large mall that wouldn't give us permission to film there 2 months earlier. We had 2 camera operators on roller-blades (I was one of them), 2 actors, 1 assistant inside, 1 driver for drop-off, and 1 driver for the get-away car. The assistant inside was stationed in the middle of the mall to serve as a diversion in the event that we we're chased by real security guards.
We did 3 takes. It was a challenge for myself and the other operator to watch the camera monitor while also watching 5-10 ft ahead of us with our peripheral vision to anticipate our path amongst the crowds of people. The first 2 takes we flew through the mall hardly unnoticed... by security that is. However, on the 3rd take, I was flying on my roller-blades just about to duck through a small window of people when a middle age man flinched from the other operator and jumped into my gap. At the last second, I had to jump over and went right through a steel trash can kicking it out of the way. The sound of the trash can sent an echo throughout the mall notifying security. I had cut my hand a bit but continued to skate and caught up to film the scene. As we rounded the last hallway of our route we here "STOP!" I look over my shoulder to identify the shouts coming from a female security officer at full sprint! Myself, the other cam-op, and one of the actors slam through the exit doors and disperse into the parking lot where we rendez-vous across the street with our get-away car. However, our other actor lagged behind and had to dip into an Arby's. After the security guard gave up on us, she found him in the Arby's where he played it cool and played it dumb. She couldn't get anything out of him so she gave him a simple 30-Day BAN from the mall... hahahahaha!
That was definitely one of my most enjoyable mall experiences!
I think one of the primary reasons I cannot stand malls is a result of the childhood boredom I experienced there. When I was a kid, I'd have to tag along at the mall on Saturdays as my mom shopped. It seemed like we would be there all day... but maybe it wasn't that long. I'm often surprised at how close a place like the zoo is that seemed like such a long drive as a kid. Anyway, the time spent at the mall as a kid seemed forever-lasting. I would often entertain myself by hiding under the clothes racks. In doing so, I'd frighten my mom nearly to death as she would worry my disappearance may be forever-lasting! Sorry mom...
The reason I started reflecting on all of this was because I just came back from REI after spending nearly 6 hours there! Whew! And I was just there for a couple of hours the day before. Memorial Day Weekend is their biggest sale of the year. Kelly is in Vegas for the weekend on a family vacation, so I took responsibility to take advantage of the discounted gear. The time flew by as I tried on several clothes, bags, boots, sleeping bags and more while scrutinizing all the details.
I realized the reason I can tolerate REI over a shopping mall is simple:
It's FUNCTIONALITY over FASHION.
I'm more considered with the weight of things or the cool/warmth factor, not whether they're the latest trend. I want a backpack that fits well so I can carry 30-35 lbs all day most comfortably. I don't care if the backpack makes my butt look good. I'll spend 6 hours at REI to find the best gear that will help Kelly and I survive. I don't care if our style dies... And although it's pretty inherent, it's great to know that REI and related companies are concerned with enjoying and protecting the world's natural resources and produce goods to do so. On the other hand, the majority of manufactures at a shopping mall may be concerned with producing profits and exploiting people and natural resources.
Anywho, for readers like Kelly and I, who aren't outdoor experts, I've learned that you really need to try out gear at the store and not order from online; Although you can order multiple items online and return to an REI store. It is important to get fitted for things like backpacks and boots and try out several options. Even though a nice backpack is on clearance, it may not be the best fit for your body. If you're hauling 20-30 lbs or wind up in a critical survival situation, you're gonna wish you had the best fit. That goes same for the utility of the gear. Focusing on buying the best gear for your own needs is a little bit like investing in a life insurance policy... only much more exciting!
Peace,
-Marty
